I'd venture to guess that more Marriages have broken up, more wars have been fought, and more general suffering has been wrought on Humankind because of the lack of Real Communication, than of just about any other cause. If Christians would actually sit down with Muslims and have an honest conversation...if children could actually speak to their parents truthfully, and if folks would be honest with their significant others about their feelings..... this would be a much more beautiful and harmonious world to live in.
Growing up in my family, like I imagine many other families (Like I believed All families were until I got older) there was an unspoken Law. "Thou shalt Not Communicate your Thoughts or Feelings Honestly." So like many of you out there I was raised to be a "People Pleaser". Refer to this lovely story here about that.The Masked Man. So life becomes a constant act of making other people Happy, not stepping on any toes....giving up who we are so that others won't in any way be offended. This creates an ILLUSION of Peace, which I believe is why most folks become lost in this little sham. But there are some distinct Problems with this approach to the world. First, in trying always to please others, we lose connection to who we really are, we lose connection to our own souls, and therefore to our own sacred purpose on this Earth. This unhappy state also has some nasty Bi-products because when we are disconnected from our Truth we become fearful...it's like we are always walking forward in a dark room, because we have lost our true compass. Fear becomes our motivator, instead of Love. We become superficial Mask wearers. But also through our lack of honest communication, those whose fears we are tip toeing around (which is what it really comes down to) gain nothing from their connection to us...we only further bolster their ILLUSION.
Let's talk about parents and their kids...and how the whole process was set up. Kids are an extension of both parents consciousness...they are the next step in their parents evolution...so to speak (Check out the book Celestine Prophesy for a good slant on this)... So our kids who are to be our Teachers, first we teach what we know.... This generally doesn't take all that many years and before long our kids start seeing that there is an awful lot we just don't know.... and a lot of it, they do. Now we've done our job (or not) of nurturing them along, and now it is their job to Teach us. Well the ego is a pretty powerful thing and a lot of parents refuse to give up the "Teacher" role, even when they really don't have a lot to offer that is new to the kid. This is where we must learn to give up our ego, and let our children communicate what they know, so we can evolve...so we can learn. Because there is no better school than our children....they are genetically pre-disposed to have precisely the information we need for our next evolutionary step. And I'm not just talking about a bunch of facts....I'm talking about Life Lessons. Maybe what they have to offer is an opportunity to stop judging based upon fear, or maybe it's an opportunity to relinquish our ego's for a brief moment and admit we don't know it all, and maybe they actually have something useful for us. Our parents are here for us....and we are her for them....but if we are not honest in our communication, we throw a wrench into all of our evolutionary processes.... we "Dummy Up".
And think about Relationships.... So many folks want to get into a romantic relationship so badly that they'll tell that other person whatever they want to hear, be whoever that other person wants them to be..... And then they wonder who ...three years later....the asshole is that they are Married to... He he. DUH! BE REAL. You know we are so busy tip toeing around other peoples fears and pains....but it is only through facing our fears and pains, that we grow and evolve. Maintaining the ILLUSION of Peace so we don't have to face those aspects of ourselves that we fear.... makes us stagnant....rots our souls.
So be real, be yourself, speak honestly from your heart.... and if someone is offended by your truth.... they don't really care about YOU...who you are. Don't give up your souls, for the ego's of others.... Don't do it.