Friday, January 18, 2013

When A Child " Should" be able to Talk... some light upon the topic

I'm writing this today while thinking about a friend of ours
Her child is older than Bracken, and still is not talking.
She gets worried, feels judgment upon her,
as if maybe something is "wrong" with her child..
or her parenting skills.

Her child is amazing
quite advanced.
She is an amazing Mother..

So here's the deal:
Children are born at different stages of soul evolution.
And this can affect when they choose to speak.
BUT, when they choose to speak is no indication whatsoever of their degree of intelligence.
Here is what parents need to understand,
especially parents with advanced children.

Language which makes it easier for us to communicate with our children....
and allows them to better define the world with words....

Actually limits pure unadulterated awareness..
puts it in a neat little box of words
narrows it down to something explainable...

But guess what....
this narrowing down is actually LIMITING.
There is so much awareness
 that can not be conveyed  
within the limitations of Language.
There are things that children are aware of, 
that upon learning to speak...
they lose the awareness of because it is no longer in the 
"Described world"
Babies do not live within a definition of the world
as adults do...
They live in the world as it is...
Raw, real.... and True.
But parents have lost that clear perception
they live in a world that exists within definitions,
made with words.
And they attempt to bring their children into their
 definition of the world.

But there are some older souls who have very strong wills
who know that they will lose more things of importance
than they will gain,
by choosing the little box of definitions,
over the vast, limitless reality
that those definitions are insufficient to define.

Language is a useful tool for communication purposes
and an aid to defining a reality that we have lost the ability
to directly comprehend....without language attached to it.
But Language and what it offers is not Awareness..
In fact language stifles direct and pure awareness because people choose to believe that a definition of a that thing.
It isn't.

Don't hurry to put your child in the little box of language.

Now the flip side of this coin is that some younger souls...
or souls who for various reasons seek a secure defined reality,
will seek to learn language as fast as they can...
Pure perception isn't for everyone...
Souls still on the first turn of the evolutionary wheel.....
are by definition,
" seeking to define ".
This is how they find their place in the scheme of things..
But some souls have found their place in the scheme of things...
and rather than seeking a narrowing, or limitation...
are seeking to expand their awareness.
And our efforts to "define them"
only harms their Souls purpose. 

Now understand that I am speaking in General terms..
No two souls are alike.
Some very old souls might have a lot to say,
so they speak earlier.
And some younger souls might choose to stay with
perception, over definition
for longer periods.
And so wait longer to incorporate language
into their relationship with their world.  

It's like this,
some souls seek Knowledge...
and security
and their tool is language.

Others seek Wisdom
and refuse to be secured
and their tool is Silence....
a void of language. 

Parents have a hard time understanding this 
because they understand through language..
And Awareness can not be understood through language.

I have some memories from when I was an infant
before the world became defined by words... 
And it was bright, vast, awesome...
and something much more
than I will ever be able to define with words.

Let your children choose when to speak,
don't push them so they will appear "Normal".

Because if you haven't noticed....
Normal is a very small confined and limited box.   


  1. Jeff,

    First I want to thank you and your beautiful wife Taryn for letting us have glimpse of your life through your blogs.
    Secondly I wish you had written this post a few years ago. My son Jakob is five years old and he didn't begin really talking till he was three. We have to learn that Jakob is an advanced child At this time in our life I felt as your friend does.My husband had to remind to look at Albert Einstein who didn't speak a word till he was four. His response to his parents was "Because up to now everything was in order.
    Much blessings and joy to yours,

  2. I had a friend from Istanbul that told me he didn't speak until he was three and when he did it was in complete sentences.

  3. I just wanted to say, that it is very difficult to shut out other people's opinion. My daughter, now 21 years was labeled with 'learning difficulties many years ago' and my husband and myself feel that the labeling has actually hindered her progress. To us, she was always just Aimee, but that does not mean that we were'nt aware that her development was not as advanced as her older brother at that age, or other children her own age. We had done a good job at avoiding a 'diagnosis' but by the time she got to high school they were almost desperate to put a tag on her. Now she tells us, she has learning difficulties and social anxiety disorder, despite never being seen by a psychology professional (we assume the labels came from school and college, and peers). She uses these tags as reasons to behave in a certain way, instead of just being herself. Maybe as she matures it will come full circle, and she will realise she does not need to categorise herself, we certainly hope so.
    I would gently tell your friend to let the child be as she is, my daughter was such a free spirit as a child because no one told her what she was or what she should be doing.
    Kind wishes

    p.s. I bring this up because speech development was one of the first things the 'experts' picked up on with Aimee, but it was by no means the only area where she was marching to the beat of her own drum, I am not trying to suggest that late speech indicates any other 'problems' I know a very successful career man who did not utter a single word until he was over 3 years old, and when he did start talking it was out of the blue in the family car, and he started talking in complete sentences straight off the bat. :)

  4. I hear you on this one Jeff! As I grew up I felt I was a round peg trying to be stuffed into a square hole, same for my children. Instead of guiding a childing in learning people tend to force it down the child's throat. Then get frustrated when the child ultimately rebells against it. Labeling that child as a problem. We just need to go with that child's learning, they guide us as we guide them.

  5. It's sad that society feels the need to label children this or that....and that schools are paid hundreds of dollars per child that they can get labeled as one problem or another.... For various reasons there are a lot of children these days who simply are very very sensitive. This can be a's not a gentle world. And these children feel and respond to Judgments that they can feel placed upon them. It can be very difficult to connect with these children, but not impossible. I think I'll do a blog post on this some time.

  6. Have you noticed the increase in children being labeled as having ADD or ADHA? This is one thing that really drives me nuts about public schools. The hurt and frustration the child feels for not being like everyone else. I dropped out of school at 15, I felt stupid, dumb, and very different than everyone else. I didn't even attempt to go to college until I was in my 40's. Then I got a 3.9. Didn't get a degree, 3 semesters away from it. I think I just had to prove to myself that I wasn't stupid. I hate the way public school just CRUSH that spirit in a child. I am all for the unschooling!

  7. Well the schools get $400.0 from the Government per child they label. I was the same in school, just kept my head down, went back to school also at 40, got all A's except one because I kept calling the teacher on all her mistakes. And the whole smart and stupid (according to whose guidelines) puts people in a pretty small box. A person could be chock full of nothing but wisdom, but if they don't have the specified "Knowledge" they are labeled stupid

  8. this was just what I needed to read today....thank you



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