Most of what I write,
is my soul talking to me,
reiterating things I need to remember.
This "Quickening" is killing me,
My souls nature is Light and Airy and Fiery,
yet I'm turning to stone here,
solid and heavy.
In fact I've just recently had a fairly huge stone form on my chest, on a spot where I was once shot and killed...it was some weird form of Cancer, growing fast....made of Keratin, like hard fingernails in a perfect circle as big as a 45 caliber exit wound and standing out a good quarter inch.
I had it Cut Out,
but it's roots are still there,
And I created it, just like I have the pain in my spine opposite it, that has needed adjustment since I was a young man.... I created these things, and the pain I've had inside my chest since I was a teen, acid reflux on the same direct line that bullet took.
We store Traumas in our astral bodies,
they reflect into our etheric bodies,
and eventually manifest in our physical bodies
and we can carry them for Lifetimes.
They are built upon Dualistic Judgments.
I slit a mans throat once,
a couple lifetimes ago.....
He was with the soldiers that were murdering my clan.
I was very psychic then,
I saw his family, his kids when I killed him,
I also saw how he was not in Integrity with his soul,
but was acting against it......
as I was when I slit his throat.
And I can try to mentalize my way out of my ..... guilt....
but I refuse to let it Be.
Just like another instance in another life that I still cling to,
even though it harms me in this one.
Some folks might say that I need to forgive myself...and him,
but here's the thing about that.
Forgiveness, for those who have culminated.....
is a Crock,
it is actually counterproductive...
It is what "the Church", that champion of Duality would propose. Forgiveness can only exist alongside Judgement based in duality.... When there is forgiveness there is always an assumed "Wrong".
Once our direction changes and our goal becomes Unity, rather than a Unique Separate Expression, we can no longer play by duality's rules...
Our Judgments of Wrong and Right must be replaced by a simple and clear perception of the Truth of things....and the Truth of things is Never defined within duality....
that is just opinion, just descriptions.....
To forgive we are maintaining a duality rather than cultivating a clear perception.
So I don't need to Forgive myself or Him,
I simply need to allow it to be what it is beyond the dualistic description.
But I refuse to do that...
There is this very counterproductive quirk of my nature, I've had it as long as I can remember.
And these days, and this past election brought so loudly to my consciousness the lack of Integrity that has gripped the masses.
People making choices and focusing the Power of their Intentions towards things that their souls are not in agreement with...
This lack of Integrity,
which I have been guilty of,
especially in those two past life situations that I refuse to let go..... is at the heart of so much of mankind's suffering.
And the Karma and future disease created by this lack of integrity.....
I feel like I need to take some responsibility for,
because as I look around at all these masses of folks that don't even realize what they have done.....and the Karma that that lack of integrity has created for all mankind....
I feel like ,
"Damn, somebody has to take responsibility for it"
...and for some crazy ass reason I've always felt the need to do that. Like it's my freakin job.
Where did I get that idea?
It does not serve me well.
So here we are in this Quickening, and those of us that have changed direction are facing our Karma hard core....and I hate to tell you this but there is some very nasty stuff coming up because of the lack of integrity that has sort of been forced upon people via a fear generated for precisely that purpose.
You know I guess what really hurt me to my core in this last election and some of the other forced choices I've seen across the globe, where folks followed Fear and employed their Intention in a misguided attempt to protect themselves from that fear. That mass employment of Fear Based Intention WILL manifest Disease and Dis Ease of epic proportions, but what hurt me to my core was seeing so many folks who had changed direction, who were on the path to Unity, partaking of this....being tricked into halting their evolution....and I was seeing this on a mass scale.
You know I've said before that Good and Evil are mostly just Judgments based in duality, but the one and only True Evil, is that which halts evolution.
And remember that the first part of our evolution is one into deeper darkness...... that path which the Church has defined as Bad or Evil, and by so doing has perpetrated upon many poor souls actions and dictates that do not allow for Natural Evolution, thereby making the Church really one of the main instigators of True Evil.
So what do I have to do to release myself from this Karma that I cling to ?
And my soul answers, "just make the decision."
And the rest of my being answers,
"Then who will take responsibility for it,
innocent children dying from new awful diseases?"
"It is what it is" my soul answers.
"And what it is Sucks," I reply.
I don't think I'm making any progress here....
Maybe I'll do better in the Dreamtime.