The Curse of Being, “Psychic”

 

The Curse of Being, “Psychic”

I was born, “psychic”.

 I don't really like that term as it has developed Connotations that make it more difficult for people to understand.

 I prefer the term, “Seeing” as used by Don Juan Matus

 the Teacher of Carlos Castaneda. . 

 Seeing, as opposed to ,”Looking”.

What does it mean to be Psychic?

 I can really only speak for myself here, and I can only touch upon it briefly,

 or else will end up writing a book.

What people perceive in the world of their everyday life,

 as they look around at their surroundings and the people around them,

 and the events around them, 

is a ,”Surface projection”.

 Every single thing we perceive is the end result of a very long Pattern.

 That Pattern creates the,”Definition” of that thing as we perceive it.

 Our entire perception of the world is a Conception, an idea..

.a fabrication of Mind.

 Every item that comes before our Sight, has a description attached to it,

 and that Description is the end result of a long pattern of things

 that define that item to us.

 We don't live in the world of TRUTH,

 we live in a world of Descriptions we have accepted as Truth.

Think of this in terms of a person.

 We meet a person and we talk to them,

 they tell us about themselves and we develop an idea of who that person is.

 But we don't know what made them who they are,

 all the life experiences, the cultural and religious programming...

all the Trauma, the Pains, and Desires

 that has built them into the person they are today....

 we don't see the LIVES Long pattern that brought them to this current Projection

 that we imagine that person is. 

 This same thing goes for world events,

 we see the current projection,

 but not the long long pattern that brought it to the current projection

 that we accept as the Truth of that thing. 

 Even inanimate objects,

 that rock, that tree, that car,

 all have a pattern that has built up to the current projection. 

 Most people accept the Projection as the reality of things....

 I came into this Life, seeing the Patterns behind the projections....

 Even in my own life I saw the pattern of Lifetimes

 that made me who I currently was.

 I remembered past lives as though they were part of this Life.

 My Mom Feared and hated me,

 I was told that the entire world as I perceived it was,

 “My Imagination”.... 

I was forbidden to Speak, because anything I would say

 would frighten my Mother and make me look different.

 When I was seven or eight a Teacher appeared to me

 when I had been sent to my room for saying something I should not have......

 she spoke with me for some time....

 I can't remember in my current Frequency what she said specifically,

 but have had the feeling my whole life that she was talking about my future,

 for one thing...and maybe how to deal with it.

 The next day, I just took off walking miles away from Home. 

 This was in Japan.

 I had a most Magical Day I still carry the Feeling of......

I went to an International all boys school in Japan.

 The children all seemed.....like creatures from another world...

I felt very different and Outside of it all, looking in..

.trying to figure out how these people could find any interest

 in such a superficial relationship with the world.... 

It finally dawned on me that I had to try and fit in....

 I learned to Pretend....

 to feign interest in things I had no interest in at all.... 

There was two things that I really really loved,

 Nature....and Females..... 

I fell in love with every female I saw,

 and I suppose it was good that I was in an all boys school,

 or I'd have just been too distracted.....

 Everything that I ,”saw” or remembered or knew....

I was told was Wrong.

 So began a life of Faking it to fit in....

 Man, when I became a Teen, trying to fit in and maybe even be liked

 by my contemporaries....

.WOW ! What an asshole I was! 

The bigger asshole, the more popular..... UGH! 

 Then in my senior year I had a class at school.

 It, and the teachers that taught it,

 only lasted a couple terms before they were fired 

for actually changing children's lives for the better.

 The class was called, “Human Development”..

.and it's focus was in making us be, who we really are.....

 Well I had been faking it my whole life, but in that class through various exercises

 we would come to see ourselves differently.

 And we would see ourselves as others saw us....

 What Shocked me was that, for the most part, the females in that class

 Saw me more as I really was, then the act I put on..... 

What they saw of me was more ,”ME” then the total asshole I was projecting 

to be accepted by ,"my friends".

 I began to see my friends and how they were pretending to be these total assholes

 to be popular, but they didn't know they were pretending,

 they were just caught up in it.....

I began to....accept my way of,”Seeing” again, but everything I ,”Saw”.....

was distressing.

 We were in Viet Nam...based on Lies,

 my parents were...PROGRAMMED to believe lies,

 everyone I knew accepted programming, and didn't look beneath the surface

 to see what it really was that was going on. 

One day I ….was having difficulty dealing with the Falsity I saw everywhere

 at school, my senior year.

 I cut class and drove to the mountains, climbed to a peak....

and had an experience that is sometimes called, ”Cosmic Consciousness”....

and sometimes called, “an Initiation”....

At least those were the definitions I found shortly after. 

 My whole life changed In that moment that was ETERNITY. ....

 I could Feel the Trees and they led me to a bookstore, to the,”Spiritual” section.

 I found some books and that night came into contact with my Teacher....

and then the nightly lessons and daily practices began.

 I meditated all the time, Every practice I was taught led me to, “the Light”. 

The ,”Light” drastically changed me. Every time I went in,

 I'd come out different. Less Baggage.

 My Life became very Magical.... I learned a lot,

 I died over and over to learn how to navigate that process to the most benefit....

 I was not the best student, I would not accept restrictions...

.I learned some things I wasn't meant to learn,

 and used the knowledge to......make a really poor choice 

that made me way too Psychic.

 I ended up wide open, I felt every person within about a square mile, deeply.

 I felt their thoughts, their feelings and their ailments.....

It became too much and I had to quit my job and with my now wife,

 run to the mountains as far from humans as possible.

 My wife was a very young soul....not a lot there, so I could be with her....

but most humans, having them inside of me, 

with all their emotions and thoughts and problems......

 was difficult to deal with.

 People would come into our camp, severely disturbed people.....

 I'd go into what I called, Kundalini convulsions”

 and my only....way to deal with it was by Going into the Light..... 

I'd go into it....and then when I came out, that disturbed person 

would be healed...no longer disturbed or sick....

 But that poor choice that I had made, 

that I called my “Humpty Dumpty Episode” ,

 had not only left me way too psychic, I was also Shattered into pieces

 that didn't fit together...... 

I spent the next 40 years or so trying to Control my …..

curse of ,”Seeing” past the surface of everything....

seeing the Truth behind the projections. 

 I couldn't hide in the woods forever living off the land,

 I needed to be able to be around Humans and all the....

mental and emotional ...weight they carry around,

 so I did the only thing that worked at the time. 

 I placed a Blockage at the base of my spine.... 

this is where the Impressions enter us.... 

I knew it would eventually manifest problems,

 blocking energy is never a valid long term solution..... 

but I managed, I kept it together, I put on the mask, got jobs

 and once again Pretended to fit in....

 But something happened in 2020, when the world was fed a Huge lie,

 and went bat shit crazy in epic proportions.

 FEAR dominated the astral and I couldn't hold it all at bay.

 The shields fell and there I was again, Seeing....

 Driving my car was a trial because I felt the folks in front of me,

 and behind me..... and they were for the most part freaked out...

everybody was Freaking out.

 I saw through all the Lies that were being used to manipulate the masses into a compliance with a Tyranny this world has rarely known.

 When I see things in the News.... I see beyond the surface projection

 which these days is almost entirely fabricated Bullshit

 meant to control the masses.

 I see on a fairly regular basis the Light disappearing from the eyes

 of people I know..... their Souls fading into the background,

 overshadowed by Fears and everything that fear brings.

 I try very hard to Block the, “seeing”....but it doesn't always hold...

and I see into people, I see what makes them who they are

 and makes them do what they do....and they don't even see it.

 I will get triggered by My Love, and See when I don't want to. 

 Years ago some distant relative by marriage posted a picture of their child

 buried in a sugar filled birthday cake, and I saw them get diabetes.....

 and the shock in that moment made me reply to the photo,

 “Can you say early onset diabetes”....

and my wife still hasn't forgiven me for this “rudeness”... 

 But when I see Suffering in the making, it is so difficult to hold my tongue.

 We have other relatives that we tried ….gently,

 to educate about the dangers of vaccines.... 

They preferred to listen to the Experts trained in Big Pharma Indoctrination Centers (formerly called Medical Schools)..... 

I saw what was going to happen to their kids, who are now vaccine damaged....

and yet they still have them vaccinated, 

and they get them on antibiotics to treat the vaccine damage, 

which further damages them.

 But, “it's not our business”....

 Seeing where harm is going to come, 

and not being able to do anything about it....... SUCKS. 

Seeing the masses being controlled to support wars built upon Lies,

 for the profit and agenda's of a very few evil persons.....

 seeing the Health of the masses DESTROYED

 for the profit and agenda's of a few very evil persons..... 

Seeing the consciousness of the masses manipulated

 to disconnect them from what is Real and Natural,

 to support evil agendas,

 seeing the Light go from the eyes of so many people,

 as their Souls are Buried in Bullshit thrown into their eyes

 from Screens they seem to be addicted to Gazing upon..... 

When your greatest attribute is your Love for Humanity

 and you see them being Disconnected from their Souls.........

 it's not easy being,”Psychic”.