Saturday, July 2, 2011

Accident?

So Bracken and I were rolling on the lawn out back.
I was hugging him, the rolling over him while holding myself up
so it was like we're this one thing
rolling along
I do this a lot with him
he loves it
so do I

Rollin on the Earth
nothin like it

 But this particular time I had forgotten I had a camera
in the leg of my pants...

Anyway we're making the first couple of rolls and the camera falls out..
And I don't want Bracken to roll on the Camera.
so I do some kind of contortion to miss it.

And then I hear a loud....
not exactly a "POP".....or CLUNK
well maybe the combination of those two
Anyway there is this lod sound
Something in my chest.... HURT
It was like Hurtin Now...
It wasn't a case of, "Dang, that's gonna hurt later"
Which is usually the case with things because I don't have time for them "Now".
So I guess I just kinda hold it back till I have time to deal with it...
and that'd be whilst I'm a sleepin.
But it in this particular case...
It hurt now!
Anyway been to the Chiro twice
pushed it back... Kinda

So here's the deal.

The reason I have a dislocated rib right now,
Isn't because I did some wrong move,
and it was an accident...

Not Really..

You see I have had this ..... way of protecting my Heart
It's like a wall...
Like a castle that I can venture out of
But nobody can venture in to.
And over the course of my life it seems there have been these cycles

I let my heart run beyond the walls...
for a short time
then I run back and hide in the castle.....
Then I let my heart run beyond the walls
then back to my safe castle.

But did I ever let anybody in the Castle..

I think I did,
but I think a whole bunch of time I did
I got terribly hurt.

So I quit opening the door.


But the Truth is..
I love so much
and it's just really so very Big.
It's so much bigger than everything else.
Bigger than the Castle..But I have an almost impossible time handling love
when it's pointed at me..

This Castle sat in my Chest...
it weighed heavy
and it threw off my Balance.
and I hurt myself...


I am going to tear down that Castle
and let my heart run free
from Now on.

3 comments:

  1. Yes! you are making me feel empowered to do the same.
    Much love to you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. maybe it is the realization that you were ''wound up'' as you recently said .meaning you have always been driven to do things. everyone is driven without really realizing it. part of subliminal ''american'' programming from the ''beginning''. hyped up society. anyway, onward...

    ReplyDelete

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