Today I had some considerable difficulty constantly not breaking into tears.
Not tears of Sadness or grief,
but tears of ecstatic joy
Bracken was really overstimulated....
So much going on,
so much to see and hear...
and he wanted to see and hear and experience it all.
He wasn't eating or taking his nap..
And he was soo sleepy..
But there are so many people there that he just loves..
He kept wanting me to hold him..
And he was soo cuddly..
Around lunchtime he was really getting anxious being restrained within our booth...
We have to take turns eating because it's hard to eat while holding him.
So I took him for a walk around the place,
and was stroking his forehead and side of his face..
And he fell asleep.
So I took him outside into the INCREDIBLE warm Sunshine.
We went over on the grass (we had played on earlier in the morning
when it was so warm we were in our shirtsleeves...and he had so much fun playing in the grass and dirt/bark.)
Anyway he fell aslepp and so I went outside where it was quiet..
and just rocked him back and forth
and kinda sang down soft and quiet to him...
And he slept there in the pack, next to my heart
which was..... a lot bigger than my body.
And two women sitting a little ways away were singing like angels,
just sittin there in the sun singing
Pretty sure they were Market people
but I didn't have my glasses on.
And I stood there and closed my eyes and felt the sun..
felt the big sweet heart of my little boy
And listened to the women sing.
And I thought about Taryn..
and felt her big shining Heart...
Bigger than all of us put together..
And today we did awesome Trades with wonderful People
And were given gifts by beautiful souls...
And Amanda walked by,
and looked at me kinda funny
And she looked all kinda blurry
So I reached up to my face and realized
tears were pouring out of me. ..
I was soooo Thankful...
I felt so blessed.
Came home, and because I kept the fire going last night...
Then really warmed it up this morning..
.and recently insolated the windows....
and packed the stove before we left this morning and turned it all the way down..
We came home to a snug and warm house.
Taryn and Bracken got bathed..
I unloaded the Market stuff and made a good dinner and took a bath myself...
Now I'm gonna go upstairs and be with my wonderful wife on Christmas Eve...
As Bracken sleeps there
not dreaming of sugar plums...
maybe Butternut Squash with Lard ....
he loves that.