The Wife suggested I write.
I've been around Humans too much recently, and my Heart is..... quavering, being a problem. It always is when I'm around people too much these days....and too much, is....very little. But here is the thing, I'm what you might call an Intuitive Empath..... It's been a lifelong curse. In my 20's I had to quit my job and move with my wife far away from people, into the woods in our VW bus. And NOW..... going out into the world, I have to tell you, 90% of the population is BAT SHIT CRAZY, and don't even know it. Everybody is wearing Masks, and I don't mean the face diapers the Evil Government is Mandating....I mean, Fake selves. I was a senior in High school when it first hit me big, one day I was sitting with a group of my friends ....and I realized , they were all faking it, all pretending to be something that they were not... Playing Games..... My best friends acting like total assholes with girls, and the girls seemed to be eating it up...And I asked this one girl, something like...Do you like all these games that these guys are playing? And she looked at me blankly, like I was talking a foreign language... And that was pretty much the last day I spent with any of my friends of many years, “I gotta get outa here.” So I cut school, went and was about to escape in my trusty Chevy 2 station wagon with stain glass windows, and curtains in front and back... Styling....... Crap, somebody stole my battery. So I walked over into this Park like area, maybe it was by the library. And there was a bench in there and there was a guy sitting cross-legged on the bench meditating. I walked over, very curious. But that dude was in another dimension... Then he opened his eyes.....and I don't remember what happened next, but I was driving in the Mountains. I was somewhere in the Santa Cruz mountains, on the coast side, in some maybe State or National Park, and I came to a parking lot and parked. It was the Parking lot for a trail that went up Mt. Helen, (or Ellen, it's been a while). It was a Flawless day, sparkling California Summer Glory. So I climbed to the top and found a place to sit with a view that overlooked, Everything. It was so beautiful, Everything was Glowing. I was moved literally to tears. Tears for the Beauty, but maybe more, tears for the sadness that what I was experiencing, would be gone soon. And I had the thought, ...a thought of regret, that I hadn't brought my camera, I think it was down in the car....in fact I have a photo of myself when I went back down the car....Was I sad about the fact that I knew I would never see all my good friends again ? I mean there was really no prospect for that, we lived in different worlds. (And I never saw David, or Yoakum...and only saw Herriman once a couple years later and he was working at Sears. It was an intense moment for many reasons....THEN a voice came into my head, loud and clear....like someone was sitting next to me, talking in my ear. And it said,” You can take all this in, with your mind. Open your eyes wide, see it all...and take it in, like you are the camera." And I did that....
And BOOM!!! Not in my body anymore....in an Endless Ecstatic Eternal White Light.
An Endless Ecstatic Eternal White Light.
Then I remembered something and I was outside of the edge of Eternity, looking back in over all Creation. It was like this Huge Web of Golden Light, and Everything that Was, was connected to this Web, to everything else. And I was on the Edge, looking at it all out in front of me.... Then I was back there sitting on the mountain. But I was different, I was Quiet..... Normally I was not a quiet person, the amount of thought and energy it took every day just to hold up the mask....was Unfrikkinreal.
But suddenly I didn't need to hold up that mask anymore...I was going to graduate …..early, like THEN,..... so I was Done with the School and old friends.....No more attempt to hold up that mask of, Normalcy. The amount of energy that freed up was incredible. So there I was , listening to the trees....and they were leading me somewhere, they were very insistent. It was really something the way one tree would like hand me off to another, then to another, then to another....And after maybe a thousand of them, leading me back through the forest roads and back into Stanford, then Main Street in Palo Alto, to a Book Store called the Plowshare, and to a back room called the Seed Center, then to a Book that was glowing across the room. I picked it up, It was, “White Magic”, by Alice Bailey.....Then another book Glowed, and it was called, “this is Reality”, by Roy Eugene Davis, and it was basically a translation of the Yoga Sutras of Patanjili..... then Another book Glowed, and it was Tibetan Yoga and Secret Doctrines, edited by Evans/Wentz.... OK, gotta buy these.
Then I go to my parents house and out into a Trailer I had bought to escape to the cave I discovered by Pyramid Lake in Nevada when I went there with the Herriman's one Summer. In the next couple day's I'll come here and my beloved Chevy won't be sitting in the parking lot....Another car, a dumb looking little Toyota will be sitting there... I went in the House and asked Mom, “Whose little car is that?”....SURPRISE, We traded in your Chevy for it!!! You just have to take in the Chevy.....GREAT, can't tow my trailer out of here to the cave with that stupid little car, well, I'll make the best of it.
Back to the story, So I'm sitting in the trailer checking out these books. And there are instructions to Practice to...Go into the Light. And I do one, and there I am again, in that Light like up on Mt. Helen.....
That night when I went to sleep, I was suddenly in that Light, then I noticed a Voice talking to me, then I saw this man with a white robe, and he was holding out his hands and talking to me, and I looked at his face, and disintegrated back into the Pure Light......eventually I was back in my body and there he was, and I looked at his face...and Boom, was disintegrated into the Light....eventually I was back in my body and he was standing there, and I looked up into his face, and disintegrated again.... I think it took at least 4 times before I figured out that if I wanted to make any progress here, I'd better not try to look at his face..... Then he was talking to me about the lessons I had read that day in White Magic, and the Sutras I had read in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjili..and he's telling me the Next lessons to learn..and he was very smoothly leading me into these practices, which brought about the desired result, which was always, The Light.
So for quite some time I would read from those three books...and it came to pass that what I read in the day, was what I had been taught the previous night in the Hall., and at night the "Teacher" as I was calling him, would take me through the practices, where I actually successfully did them to completion....and it was so easy. It was always in the, White Hall” that I met him. There was nothing else there, no structures or anything, just Whiteness. And I never could look at his face, I tried and accidentally did it some times to the same result. Well all this is a different story and a long one, so back to the Present...
Now here we are, most of the world has been Hypnotized by an evil agenda to believe the most outrageous lies, that are so poorly done.....yet they believe and comply....But that's not really the problem.. The Bat Shit Craziness is the result of them being totally disconnected from their Souls....totally engrossed in an illusion that puts them in a state of astral and etheric (energetic) .....Shitstorms. But they have their distractions....they have their Masks to cling to, their Acts and pretenses of normality to Hold fastly to, to keep from totally sinking into the oblivion of that Shitstorm... And when I am near them....not even that near..... I feel it, I hear it...... it thrashes upon my soul like waves upon the rocks in a storm of epic proportions.... and it Breaks My Heart. Then I find myself, in the midst of them, putting on a mask, because I can't yell for them to wake up, I can't slap them back into a connection with their souls.....I can't give them Peace..... I have had a long and pretty isolated life, even when I had folks around me....I was still isolated because I never felt like a part of the game everyone seemed to be locked into.... To live as a Soul was all I desired....but in that I was so totally alone, so I tried to be more in my body, to do the physical things to keep me more involved with the whole..... Passion Play which seemed the way of the world...... My spouses have said that they felt like they needed to keep a string tied to me or I'd float away, like I was a balloon not very connected to the Earth....and I have done all I can do to be more ....solid......and I've reached this weird point where I am connected to the Earth, yet still wide open to the energies around me, the frantic swirling disconnected energies that I feel in 90% of the folks I come across....and that pulls me off my center, it makes my heart forget how to beat properly..... It sucks, because I LOVE PEOPLE so much, it's Painful...... So, I have had a long isolated life and am used to it and sort of comfortable in the acceptance of that necessary energetic isolation, but my poor wife.....she Loves people like I do, and she is becoming more sensitive all the time, and having all the difficulty that comes when you start to see through the Masks that people are wearing, through the games they are playing....and seeing their Souls being BURIED in Garbage meant to distract them from their own Pain..... but she is young and craves finding people living as Souls, with Integrity and honesty.....and she is constantly disappointed, and I have very few words of encouragement for her, as I decided a long time ago....I can't go looking for it, if a True Soul is meant to come into my life, it will.....as she did....But, alas....that's about it, and not a whole lot more then that in an entire lifetime..... so what can I say to her? I tell her we have to be real and in Integrity and speak our Truth, even if people can't deal with it.....if we want people that will be REAL friends..... But the reality is every time I ever talk about the things that are important to my soul....... peoples faces go blank, or worse, scared..... a lifetime of that makes you want to just keep quiet. So I rant and rave about the.....EVIL I see taking over my country and the Planet....and that would seem to define who I am, But that is just a Mask. It's such a teeny tiny bit of me. What really matters to me is things of the SOUL..... Magic...... and even though this is what the world needs now more then anything, I have literally spent lifetimes SHUNNED because this was what was important to me....and just seemed to scare most everybody else when I would talk about it,or Be with It.. So I rant and Rave about the Evil that is seeking Dominion in the world, and causing death and pain and suffering, yet .... all that, isn't really even REAL....All that is distraction meant to keep people from the Magic of their Souls..... but that world of Illusion is where almost everybody has chosen to take up residence..... Distracted from what really is and what really matters. And in that world people have opposing distractions in Illusion, and they fight over whose illusion is Right. Religion against religion, Country against country, Party against Party.......
And you just can't tell people that their Religions were created to distract them, to baffle them with bullshit, that the Truth is in their Souls...you can't tell them their Country, their Party, their Culture......are all just MASKS, not one any more Real or Right then the other....It's simply beyond their ability to comprehend..... A belief system is not just one thing, it's a million things piled on top of each other in a very specific order...... like a prison of a million bricks that you can't tumble down to help them escape by just kicking one brick.....they will only be free by letting their Souls remove the bricks, one at a time...in the right order....
There is really only one thing that keeps us from Knowing TRUTH, and that is Our Ideas about what is Truth....
A lot of energy has gone into keeping us from knowing the Truth..... and that energy was put into Telling us what was True, into Defining a picture of Truth, and what is right and what is wrong.....
Real Religion would not define Truth then tell you to blindly have faith in what they told you, Real religion would teach you how to Find Truth, via your Soul.......
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