Wednesday, May 26, 2010

"Coming out" of the Scary Closet... and Part One, the Blue Angel

I’ve been listening to my body lately, and acting on what I hear from it as much as possible. This listening has had many benefits, not the least of which is that my lifelong problem with non-stop acid indigestion/Gerd…. Is now healed. What brought me to that healing was simply facing some “truth’s “ about myself. These “Truths” I had pushed aside, suppressed….hidden within myself energetically….mostly so that I could maintain an appearance of “normal”.
So I have spent the greatest part of my life suppressing many parts of myself that didn’t fit into this “normal” definition…HE he, and I’m afraid that’s about the majority of who I am.
Well aside from this healing…or actually part of it, is a major energetic change in my body, and this is taking some getting used to.
I’ve always been a hyper dude, running on nervous energy…. I got a lot done, he he, sometimes to a super hero level…. I was always Flying.  And by the same token I was always two steps ahead of myself, pushing myself to the next point…pushing pushing pushing.   Always had things that needed to be accomplished….NOW, or yesterday….always pushing….
Well part of Healing my insides involved halting this process of always being 2 steps ahead of myself, and actually existing in the present.
This existing in the present has some noticeable side effects.  On one hand there is a greater Peace, but on the other is a greater sensitivity to energetic issues. One of these issues is my own personal Bio Rhythm that is a little strange. Here’s my natural rhythm: get up between 5-8 am, do some good hard work and eat breakfast at 9:30 or so. Then my energy totally bottoms out…… I actually for the last couple of days feel almost dizzy. Then about 1:00 PM my energy picks up again, and by 2:00 I’m full tilt boogie “getting her done”. This energy maintains until dinner around 6:00 pm…and then the energy picks up a couple of notches. By midnight I’m bench pressing the freezer, (or at least feel like I could)….and until 2:00 am I’m in a perfect Creative mode.
Well it’s 10:00 A.M. right now, I was going into my “Low” cycle and decided rather that push myself through it trying to “get something accomplished”, I decided to meditate. If my body wants me to kick back and relax, I should do that. So I went upstairs to meditate and after about 10 seconds I realized that for me to be “in balance” I have to be honest. I can’t suppress parts of myself because they freak people out… I have to be honest with at least myself about all aspects of who I am. So I felt compelled to start sharing some things about me that people don’t generally know…some things that might send some folks packin, and defriending me on Facebook, he he.. (it does happen when I get honest)…. But I somehow feel compelled to expose those things that I have kept hidden.  So I’m going to start doing that under the title of  “Coming out of the “Scary” Closet”.

“Coming out of the Scary Closet” Part One…. Meeting an Angel
When I was 8 years old we lived in Japan. We lived in a nice place, two stories, in base housing. It was like a neighborhood of two story buildings all connected together to form a square around a big Central grassy area.  There were lots of cherry trees out there and in Spring the air was like perfume.
Well one day I guess I did something wrong, and I was sent to my upstairs room. It was either late Spring or early summer because it was nice and warm. I loved the sound and feel of the oscillating fan that sat by the window. I sat there letting it wash back and forth across me, in AHHHHH. He he. Then suddenly there was this Blue Angel there in my room. She was larger than humans and very beautiful At first I thought to be scared…but that only lasted a millisecond. Then she talked to me. It’s hard to explain this, it was like suddenly we weren’t in the “normal” world. Everything was so much brighter. And it seemed like she spoke to me for a long time, but I can’t remember anything she said except a feeling that she was telling me some things about my life to come…and how to be. 
I don’t know if I told my parents about this or not, by 8 years old I had probably already been told that so many things I encountered were, ”just my imagination”.  ( I must have had one heck of an imagination because I remembered large portions of Life in a monastery in Tibet, and life as an Indian on the plains, and as a child being killed by Indians on our Homestead) and I imagined these things before I could even talk about them). But after we are told things that seem real to us aren’t real, by “grown-up’s” enough times…we sort of just push all those things into hiding.
Anyway that day, or actually the following day is one of my Brightest life long memories…..  So the next day was a beautiful warm day. I felt empty and full all at the same time. I felt like I was Breathing in the world, the trees, the sky, the smell of the grass, everything was so amazingly beautiful. I was only 8, but I just took off walking…no thought to where I was going, or parents being worried or anything. I crossed the quad and left the square of buildings and started walking over rolling hills of grass. I found what I guess was an old bunker then went down this concrete U shaped Drainage ditch ( I guess) that went into tunnels. I went into the tunnel (it had a huge metal grate that was pulled up by huge chains, like a castle door. I explored…  Then I wandered over these grassy hills. The sky was Robins Egg Blue with little puffy white clouds.  I came to the top of this hill and looked down the other side, and down at the bottom was the most amazingly beautiful thing.  There was this huge silk sheet, green like the grass and as big as maybe a half a football field. And all these Japanese people. (probably teen-age, or college age….were throwing this beautiful thing up, then running under it. It would just float down like a gentle cloud, and had all these puffy little rooms in it. I know because I ran down that hill, and ran under when they did…. It was an amazing time so full of joy and Bliss.  Finally I think some of the Japanese people became concerned about this little American boy off far away from any parents, and they started sort of pushing me to go Home…(This wasn't all that long after the War). Just about then I saw my Dad’s car pull up on the Hill. I think it was a 55 Chevy, maybe Blue like the angel…. I don’t remember exactly what transpired, but was surprised by my Dad’s actions. I think at first he wanted to punish me, but was just so happy that he found me..  I feel like the angel I met the day before had a lot to do with the journey I took that day…and it’s still one of the Brightest of my memories.
That was the First time I remember seeing that particular “angel”, though I’ve seen her many times since. In my life I have run across a few people where I could see her image superimposed upon their faces. Once I was traveling by myself for a short time (my first wife needed “space” so she could be boinking my best friend without me around getting in the way, and finding out about it…), so I took off on kind of a “vision quest”. The first day I met a girl under magical circumstances…. (Actually I’ll do a post about those days later…) and I kept seeing the angels face superimposed on hers, but I never said anything, not wanting my "weirdness" to show…. Then one day she showed me a picture she had drawn…it was the “angel”. I asked her what it was and she said that ever since we met she had seen this woman superimposed upon my face.  I still have that picture.

There is quite a story behind this Picture, and then meeting the "woman" in the Flesh that I'll write about later under the "vision Quest" section.
This is part One of my Hidden story, some following parts will be :
1.“ The Alien Encounter” .. which I can only talk about what happened afterwards because a long time ago I promised my Dad (after he showed me a half moon shaped scar that he got that night) I’d never bring it up around my Mom, and she reads my blog sometimes.
2. Meeting “the German” and building the machine that allowed plants to “talk”.
3. An Enlightening Experience and Meeting my Teachers
4. Learning to Die…    The astral plane journey
5. “Magic”, Traveling in Water, through time, moving through solid matter, dissipating energetic blueprints of thing.
6. Part one of the Vision
7. The Humpty Dumpty Episode (losing 30 years of my life)
8. The “German” Returns and shows me the Healing/Mind Control Machine.
9.  Vision Quest: Meeting Jill, The Angel in the Flesh, Bud , an amazing Wizard…
10. Part 2 of the Vision. Concerning the “Quickening” the 2012 event (that I still can’t believe happens in 2012, and the Reincarnation of “God” .

1 comment:

  1. Hello,
    I just "stranded" here and on your wifes blog and I like your writings. Sorry for my bad English, I'm not so good in languages...
    It's almost 4 AM here (in Europe) and I hope my writing won't be so "drowsy" (hehehe)
    Well, I know your post is from 2010, but I feel to write a little note about your last 3 postings. To talk about yourself about this "kind of stuff" is brave, I can understand it very much, because I have some "weird things (stories)" in my "mind", too, who people thinks what a "crazy person". I never really talks about that, because I was and still I'm afraid what people would think, because sometimes I don't understand some things by myself. To see, how you write about your memories and experiences gives me courage to listen more and to listen to my "inner pictures" more. I suppressed this for years.

    Thanx for sharing! Have to sleep now, but for sure I will continue reading here and on your wonderful wife's blog :-D
    Good night! Bye for now, mel

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